@ Ignore the border crisis. Blame it on Bush.
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@ Pretend to be concerned about the Palestinian crisis. Let NetanYahoo kill as many of them as he wants.
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@ Act surprised about the German spying crisis. Have the new press secretary say I was never in the loop.
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@ Have a beer with some bubbas. Try to look and act like I care about them.
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@ Party with some trannies in Austin. Keep Austin weird. Very weird.
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@ Tweet like a seventh grader. It's hard not to when you don't have a teleprompter.
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@ Call Michelle about the Hawaii vacation preps. No more camping out; let's go super royalty lavish all the way this time.
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@ Find the SOB who took this photo of me looking all doped up at that meeting with Rick Perry. Render him to Gitmo for some enhanced "freedumb of the press" training along with that dumbass Congressman who criticized what he called my "bizarre" behavior:
That'll teach 'em to screw with me !!!
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